Some people perform well under pressure and others fall completely apart. Back in high school when I had term projects, I was one of the students who stayed up until 4 AM the night/morning before the project was due to start and finish it. Remember in my day, we did a lot of work in long hand. No computers. Some reports were typed but many were handwritten. We're talkin' bibliographies, etcetera. Under pressure. Got it done.
I find I often wait until the last minute to do important things in my life. Not always but enough to recognize I must need the extra pressure to dedicate my best focus to a project. I can do things either way - by preparing in advance or doing a little at a time - but I've taken myself to the edge many times along the road of my life to accomplish goals set in advance but adhered to late. I got good grades on my projects in school which only reinforced my tendencies to dally or procrastinate.
I remember the process and trials of writing that first monster novel. It took off, and I wrote furiously for days. Life intervened and there would be short breaks, then long breaks. Months turned into years and, yes, I wondered if I'd ever finish what I'd set out to do in obedience to the Lord. Fear took its place in the journey, and doubt tagged along like a lame dog. Eight and a half years later, Hope Of Glory (yes, the o in of was capitalized on purpose) was completed. Long hand. In multiple notebooks with other notebooks listing names of horses and races. Done. Relief in so many ways. A story within a story in getting it written. Prayers answered. A word from the Lord which I put on my business card because it still keeps me engaged in this writing gig: "If you pick up the pen, I'll give you the words."
The pressure of finishing that "assignment" - or offering - to the Lord kept its vigil, never releasing me from its stare even when those long months of no writing prevailed.
I also feel the pressure mounting to finish the work of the three novels I've begun. But knowing myself, I'm thinking it hasn't cranked up to the point where I'll abandon all other things stealing my attention - or seducing it - to do what I "should" be doing. I think with me it's that "should" word that keeps me rebellious until "should" becomes necessary for a kind of personal victory blending with a real purpose.
I think it's that purpose thing failing me at the moment.
How do you do under pressure?
Lord, I need your push and those words you promise. I'll designate time on this keyboard if you'll help me find that missing discipline I need. It all comes from you. Help me to not be irresponsible with what you've given me to do. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.